Story about us Moms!

My sis sent me this and I believe it is worth leaving posted for all the other Moms I know to read. :)

Of course, LOL…I feel very fortunate to be in the group that has now revealed the truth, LOL, my home doesn’t stay perfect, sometimes (a lot of the time) if you come inside my 2 yr old runs around in only a diaper~ can’t stand clothes and if I am too busy helping with homework or anything else, we will have sandwhiches for dinner.

Anyone who has set foot in my home will give a shout out that I am tellling the truth, LOL!

Happily, Imperfect Mommy

This was in the Dallas Morning News yesterday and I thought it worth passing along! 

Enjoy!

 

 

Mommy Guilt

 

If your floor is crunchy and you yell sometimes – you’re not alone

 

Pssst. I’m going to share my secret with you. A secret of dark shame.

 

The floor of my home is crunchy.

 

As a mother of three children ages 4, 2 and 3 months, I assure you: my floor is actually crunchy. Five years ago, had you suggested to me I would be shuffling through Cheerios and Goldfish and peeling my elbows off the grape-jelly and apple-juice epoxy on my dining room table, I would have scoffed. I was a much better mother, as they say, before I had children.

 

It’s the secret that dare not say its name: Mommy Guilt. As a licensed professional counselor specializing in wives and mommies, I’ve heard hundreds of women confess this to me, eyes cast to the floor:

I’m a terrible mother, and it’s so easy for everyone else.

 

These women are working both in and out of the home, but we all share the same terrifying feeling that we will be found out. We yell! We (gasp!) microwave bottles! We feed our children Cocoa Puffs, and they’ve refused to eat a vegetable since we spooned them into them at age six months! We’ve used a combination of a towel, duct tape and a maxipad swaddled on our toddler because we forgot to buy diapers! The horror! The horror!

 

I’m here to tell you: I’m not alone, and neither are you. The mother you see every morning at school drop-off whose children are in matching, crisply ironed Ralph Lauren shirts, the mother who is in heels and makeup at 6:30 a.m., the mother who somehow shows up to every freakin’ PTA meeting with a smile on her face and a homemade brownie platter in her hand – all these women share the Dark Secret.

 

We’re wearing maternity underwear, and our youngest is 6.

 

All kidding aside, it has been amazing to hear my clients struggling with depression and despair over the gap between what they think other mothers pull off effortlessly and what happens in their own homes.

 

If she didn’t have money to buy athletic supplies for her son, said one client through her tears, she would be depriving her child of enrichment, exercise and all the opportunities she thinks every other child has.

Another is convinced she is the only mother who raises her voice to her children.

 

Yet another is certain she’s a horrible parent because she dreads dealing with her mercurial toddler. And they have no idea that mother after mother who sits on my office couch claims that all other women are great parents, while they are not. They would not dare to share with these other mommies what they see as their shortcomings.

 

Stop the mommy guilt.

 

Not everyone will agree with your parenting. Let your inner voice guide you. Revisit your values and priorities. Allow for imperfections.

 

If you’re worried about your quality of parenting, I’ve discovered, chances are you’re doing fine.

 

Most important, research shows that women who report the most happiness have a solid network of other females. When you’re losing it, hearing another mom admit to the same feelings is so powerful. When my friend with two small children told me her cleanliness goal really only entailed raking a path clear enough the toys that EMT workers could make it to her if she ended up running amok and breaking a limb, I felt so much better. “Lousy” mothers – unite!

 

Choose your battles. Apologize when you make mistakes.

And should you find that stress is overwhelming, get support through your network or friends…or access a professional counselor like me who can help you take care of you so you can take better care of them.

 

Throw off your shackles, Mom. Know that whether they admit it or not, every mom is imperfect just like you and me. Say it loud: My floor is crunchy, my elbows are sticky and I’m proud!

 

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Ovary Removal Before Menopause Increases Risk for Dementia

Someone from my PMDD support group put this link out, I thought it was worth sharing here. The thought crossed my mind during some bad times of course, LOL, now it won’t cross it again.

Ovary Removal Before Menopause Increases Risk for Dementia, Study Says

Thursday , August 30, 2007

ADVERTISEMENTget_a(300,250,”frame1″);

Women who have their ovaries removed before menopause run a heightened risk of developing dementia or other mental problems later in life — unless they take estrogen until age 50, a new study suggests.

Experts said the research needs to be confirmed by further study, but the findings suggest another issue for premenopausal women and their doctors to discuss as they consider ovary removal.

And if they decide to go ahead with surgery, they need to consider the risks and benefits of taking estrogen to age 50, said Dr. Walter Rocca, a Mayo Clinic neurologist and lead study author.

Hormone therapy has been linked to a greater risk of dementia and heart attacks when given to women after age 65. But recent research indicates that when given before menopause or just afterward, it does not raise heart attack risk and may protect against dementia.

The study did not include women who had ovaries removed as part of cancer treatment, and Rocca said the results do not apply to such women. The work was published Wednesday in the online edition of the journal Neurology.

Ovaries produce estrogen. Rocca said the likeliest explanation of the study results is that removing ovaries causes a sudden deficiency of that hormone, which in turn affects the brain.

Hundreds of thousands of women have their ovaries removed each year in the United States. In women around age 45, approaching menopause, ovaries are often removed during hysterectomies as a precaution against developing ovarian cancer. In addition, some women at unusually high risk of developing ovarian cancer have ovaries removed without hysterectomies, as do others who have ovarian problems like endometriosis.

Women younger than 45 often take estrogen after ovary removal because of symptoms like hot flashes and concerns about developing osteoporosis, noted Dr. Nancy Chescheir of Vanderbilt University. But older women who have the surgery are less likely to start estrogen therapy, said Chescheir, who did not participate in the new research.

The new study found the risk of later mental impairment was higher when the surgery was done at younger ages.

The research examined the fates of about 1,500 women who had one or both ovaries removed from 1950-87, and compared them to about 1,500 other women. Interviewers spoke with either the women themselves or somebody who knew them, asking about signs of memory impairment and any diagnosis of dementia or Alzheimer’s disease.

Overall, the study found that women who had had one or both ovaries removed showed about a 50 percent increase in risk of the later mental problems.

A second study, which included about 2,300 women who had had the surgery and about 2,400 who had not, found about a 70 percent increased risk for a diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease or Parkinson’s symptoms like tremors.

Still, that outcome was far less common than mental impairment, and experts said the evidence behind it was weaker than that provided in the mental-impairment paper. The Parkinson paper finding is “not quite ready for prime time” in terms of affecting patient care, said Dr. JoAnn Manson, chief of preventive medicine at Harvard’s Brigham and Women’s Hospital. She was not involved with either study.

The mental-impairment paper suggests that a premenopausal woman without a family history of ovarian cancer who has to decide on whether to have her ovaries removed should ask her doctor whether that step is really necessary, she said.

“It’s very reasonable and important to have that conversation with her doctor,” Manson said.

Chescheir noted that estrogen therapy carries its own risks, such as a higher rate of blood clots and breast cancer, but that ovary-removal patients younger than 50 may want to have a serious discussion of that option after surgery.

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The Drugging of our Children

I got this video from another blog,  Mosaic Moon by Stephanie over at OurStory. It is a very long video, about an hour, but so worthwhile to watch, very sad.

The Drugging of our Children Video

Description: In the absence of any objective medical tests to determine who has ADD or ADHD, doctors rely in part on standardized assessments and the impressions of teachers and guardians while the they administer leave little room for other causes or aggravating factors, such as diet, or environment. Hence, diagnosing a child or adolescent with ADD or ADHD is often the outcome, although no organic basis for either disease has yet to be clinically proven. Psychiatrists may then prescribe psychotropic drugs for the children without first without making it clear to parents that these medications can have severe side-effects including insomnia, loss of appetite, headaches, psychotic symptoms and even potentially fatal adverse reactions, such as cardiac arrhythmia. And yet, despite these dangers, many school systems actually work with government agencies to force parents to drug their children, threatening those who refuse with the prospect of having their children taken from the home unless they cooperate.

I’m so thankful…

I don’t know if it’s because I am supposed to be starting any second now, or if it’s because I lost my Grandmother this past week, or just because it’s just past due time I gave Thanks that I am writing this tonight.

Sometimes it feels as though because I keep a blog about PMDD that it is a huge amount of my life. Yes, it is a huge part of my daily life, but I wanted to take the time to be thankful for all of the incredible things that I have in my life.

I have an incredible husband, 4 amazing and healthy children, a supportive family that has always been there. We live in a wonderful home, don’t go hungry and are able to give our kids things that we would like to give them.

My husband works hard and I am fortunate enough to be able to stay at home. I am able to help my kids with their homework, take walks, jump on the trampoline with them and just have fun.

Sometimes I have to remember that all of our furniture may not be brand-spankin’ new, we don’t take extravagant vacations right now, but we all have our health and are definitely not doing without.

Taking the time to say I love you to other’s and Thank You God for all of the incredible things that we do have is a necessity. Don’t Wait. :)

Stages of life…to take meds or not to take meds

I wasn’t exactly sure how to title this and I have been thinking about this since Monday. I actually kept the title as a draft so I could think about what all I wanted to write.

I don’t even know if the title says what I want this to be about, so I will explain further. We all have different stages of our lives, obviously. Even here, reading each others stories about to medicate or not to medicate, etc… we are all in different situations. Some people feel that they don’t need medication, it makes them worse, some feel they need it to feel/behave better, we all know the different reasons without me listing them.

My thought is this…different stages of our lives also require us to take different stances. For example, I have tried to go off of meds, I exercise daily, take my daily supplements, eat well, etc… however, I have 4 children (ages 11-2) and at the time even younger. For others it may be a spouse or a job, or any other personal situation.

A couple of days later and I am still working on this draft, what is my problem. Every time I go to sleep the entire blog goes word for word thru my head and the next day comes and I can’t get the words out. Here it goes again…

I have to be in the right mind to be able to take care of my children in the most positive, happy, fun way possible. It is not fair to a child to have a parent always having to pay attention just to themselves or one that is always apologizing yet doing the same horrible yelling over and over again or sleeping all the time and not being an active participant in their lives.

If I do what some people suggest is the ‘all to all’ of being healthy and ‘the best way to live’ meaning being off of all mind altering medications, I would either be raging and apologizing 2 wks of every month and then crying and feeling guilty the other days. Crying so much that my childrens, my husbands, and my own lives wouldn’t be what it is today. Would I be any good to my children, absolutely not. And, this is with my vitamins, exercise, sleep, etc…

My body just doesn’t cooperate like that. :) I am very fortunate that I am doing okay right now with the 2 medications/dosages and hard work that I put towards dealing with my PMDD and that I am not having any negative effects. I am sometimes quieter during my 2 wk time compared to my normal chatty self, but nothing to the point of sitting in the corner alone. I can handle that.

If I didn’t have children, or like others who may be single parenting or have a job where their boss won’t give any time off or any work from home time, etc… I might have more options. You know though, even as I say that, I don’t think for me right now I would even take it. Like I have mentioned a thousand times here, I am doing much better on my meds.

I have been on meds that changed me for the worse and I was the first one stopping and even worse a couple of times going cold turkey because I couldn’t stand them that much! As we all know, that was EVEN worse, but I learned. I felt wonderful when I got the ICK out of me. I do know the feeling of drugs in your system, sluggish feelings, feelings that you just aren’t yourself, etc… please don’t think that I just found the great meds for me and don’t understand why people get off meds, oh believe me I do. :)

The reason I decided to write this is not because there are so many people getting off of meds, there are a ton of blogs on people getting off their meds and doing it the right way…Man I wish those were out there when I was doing it, sadly enough a lot of docs don’t do it slow enough. I am writing this because unlike a lot of disorders Doctors are still completely baffled by PMDD. There isn’t any medication out there to ‘treat’ PMDD yet. Of course there are anti-depressants that are prescribed, but they will not ‘fix’ you, but will help some. Also, a lot of what you will find will be exercise, sleep, eat right…this is the only way to fix it, etc…

I want for Women to also know that if they do all of that AND they still suffer, they have NOT failed. Those are MUSTS!!! You have to follow a routine, it’s just going to be one of those things. You need to get plenty of sleep, eat healthy and stay away from sugars and processed foods, stay away from caffeine, exercise DAILY, stay away from stressful events…as Women/Moms it’s tough, but if you need meds too you have not failed.

I used to tell a friend of mine, if you were diabetic you would take your meds, yes?  Okay then, take your meds.

I am grateful that 4 times in my life I was able to go med-free. When I am PG and when I am nursing and don’t have a period I don’t have my PMDD. I have 4 kiddos and nursed for a year, actually a little over, LOL. I was symptom free/med free all the while, it was AWESOME!!!

I am so proud of the Women that are able to go without meds, it is a tough road and to be able to do it deserves a HUGE pat on the back and you should really be proud of yourself too.

For all of the Women/Moms out there who feel that they need the meds, it is a tough decision to decide to take them, I am proud of you too for deciding that you want better for yourself and those around you too.

We all have different decisions to make, I hope all of the Women out there will make the best one for yourself today, do a TON of research, talk to a TON of Moms, listen to YOUR gut and be proud, not embarrassed of your decisions. 

Topomax info and updates

It has been a while since I spoke about my Topomax updates, and I have received a couple of personal emails from Women who are starting, or thinking about starting Topomax. I have decided to respond here in case anyone else is prescribed Topomax, but doesn’t have a lot of info and may be as nervous or info-crazy, LOL as I was before I started taking it.

First, Topomax has literally helped me tremendously. Now, do I recommend Topomax for everyone with PMDD~~ heck no, but I wouldn’t recommend Prozac for everyone either. :) Topomax is a step in a different direction of medication though, diff than Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, etc…

Second, I cannot speak on high dosages of meds, my doc puts it to me as, I take candy dosages. It works for me and I am very lucky that my 2 doctors that I work with believe as I do, don’t mess with it unless a must and figure out first what’s going on with me before uping, etc…

I have heard that some doctors start slowly and move up until they hit a dosage they think is right for the patient, I am just not really for that for me.

I take 30 mg of Prozac and I take 50 mg of Topomax. I will continue taking 50 mg of the Topomax for at least a year and then IF I feel it needs to be uped, we can look at it, but for the most part they both think this will do the trick. Only time will tell and that’s good enough for me.

In addition to my meds I exercise daily, I walk 2 miles a day with my 2 yr old in his stroller and my Sib husky on her leash so needless to say we are getting a heck of a walk.
I also only drink water in addition to my coffee, and yes I will be the first to admit I drink too much coffee, I have gone without for 3 months straight, didn’t have much of a change and decided it was my ‘not give up’. :)

I don’t drink, smoke or do any drugs. I don’t eat a bunch of junk either so I am sure all of these, no I am POSITIVE all of these come into play with my outcome. I only say this because I don’t want anyone to think I am saying I have a miracle pill that works for me. Every day, Every month is a thinking process, something I have to work on, getting enough sleep, etc…

After all of my rambling, my point is about Topomax.

I LOVE being on my Topomax. This is actually the first prescription I can really say that about. I have been on Prozac, Paxil, Celexa, Sarafem, Zoloft, was given a prescription for Klonopin (took 2 pills gave me major migraine, never took again), was given muscle relaxers, forgot name. Also took Zanax and one other one just like Zanax (name has slipped my mind).

All have been horrible for me except just my Prozac and my Topomax and of course Sarafem (same thing as Prozac just a prettier name).

With all of my appts with my psych and my doc, we figured out that I have cyclothymic disorder (definition below). I was okay living day-to-day life because unlike someone that is bipolar when you have cyclothymic disorder you never get overly high or overly low. So, to a lot of people you are just more energetic than most people rather than hyper and when you are down you are just in a dump, it happens so quickly people don’t consider you ‘depressed’.

My problem was that when I was growing up I thought it was just all a part of my PMDD and just craziness, but as I got older my cycling became worse, obviously as I get older my hormones change. Also, during my PMDD time I began dropping really low and then bouncing really high, hormones were playing a major part in something I already had. Like I said, the older I got the tougher it was, when you are high and do too much, you become exhausted, etc… you get the pic. Again, this is not nearly as high/low as a bipolar so for the outsiders looking in, it is possible to hide, esp during my PMDD time. Everyone already know I sat in the background a lot for a couple of wks during that time anyway.

Cyclothymic Disorder is a chronic bipolar disorder consisting of short periods of mild depression and short periods of hypomania (lasting a few days to a few weeks), separated by short periods of normal mood. Individuals with Cyclothymia (thymia: from the Greek word for the mind) are never free of symptoms of either depression or hypomania for more than two months at a time. In 1980 the classification of Cyclothymia was changed in the DSMV-IV from Personality Disorder to Mood Disorder.

Though the above description portrays Cyclothymia as a mild disorder, it is so only relative to the severity of Bipolar I and Bipolar II disorders. Cyclothymia can completely disrupt the life of an individual and create personal chaos. In their continual oscillation of mood, they never know from one day to the next what to expect.

Incidence of Cyclothymia

Equally common in men and women, cyclothymia affects 0.4 to 1 percent of the population. Most commonly the disorder begins in the teens or early twenties. Eventually approx 30 percent of individuals with cyclothymia experience a full-blown manic episode or major depression, and their diagnosis is changed to Bipolar I or II.

Causes

Genetic factors appear to be causative in Cyclothymia as they do in the Bipolar Disorders. Many of those affected have a family history of major depression, bipolar disorder, suicide or alcohol/drug dependence.

Symptoms

Zigzagging from periods of elation to gloom

Unable to maintain enthusiasm for new projects due to mood changes

Personal Relationship Problems due to influence of moods causing a constant “pulling close and pushing away” of emotions

Abrupt changes in personality from cheerful, confident and energetic to sad, blue or “mean”

Sleep difficulties are prominent, with affected persons sleeping little during hypomania, and “unable to get out of bed” during depression.

So, I take the Topomax to keep me from going up and down. Another reason it was so exhausting is because unlike bipolars you don’t necessarily stay up/down for a lengthy time. You actually fluctuate quite often, it’s tiring.
It helps wonderfully. I don’t feel tired on the Topomax, or wired. I still have all of my feelings, I still cry, laugh, etc… I just am able to control my rage, this has to be done not only for my own sanity but also because I have a husband and 4 children. They can’t have a Mommy apologizing all the time, but then continue living thru a monthly mess.

I take the Prozac to help with low times of PMDD ‘2 wk time’.

For me it has been a life saver, I can take a medication, still be the ‘better’ me that I enjoy, be the Mommy and Wife that I enjoy being, etc… Please! Please! Please! don’t take all of this great info as I don’t have any PMDD symptoms and I take my pill and lalalalalala, life is so easy and dandy. It’s not.

I am able to deal with stresses that most people are able to deal with and not freak out like I would without my meds. I do still feel stress, life insanities, etc… but for me that means I am on the right meds. If I couldn’t feel I would be worried. Also, this month has been extremely difficult for me, even with the meds, but I expect it with some of the personal things going on in my life. Again, I am thankful for the Topomax because I can still feel the sadness, etc… but I am now not raging because of the stress and that’s what I can’t/couldn’t stand.

I wrote at the beginning of all my ‘firsts’ with Topomax, the dry mouth (dying of thirst), tingly arms, etc… It did all go away and I am happy to report I haven’t gained any weight with it, a great plus since all the meds, except my Prozac have caused a small amount of weight gain. Other than Paxil, I gained 20 and it took about 10 months to lose that, even off the meds, sucked!

All in all, it’s been a while since I have been on the Topomax with the Prozac and am happy with the results. AGAIN, I do repeat what I said before, it takes the other things too…exercise, sleep, good eating habits and a TON of patience.

I hope this information helps anyone out there that is thinking about Topomax. 

PMDD and other disorders~~ looking for responses

I have been reading and researching this subject on some different sites and forums.
If you would like to respond, but feel as though the information is too personal, feel free to email me at livingwpmdd@gmail.com

I would love to still be able to compare some of the info, if you email me rather than posting, I won’t put your info on Life w/PMDD.

Okay… have any of you noticed (that have PMDD) that another disorder seems to get worse during your 2 wk time? Whether it’s OCD behaviors, cutting yourself, eating disorders, etc… Nothing is too small to mention, even if it just seems like a habit to you. Have you noticed that during that time you get a lot worse?

If so, have you thought about why it is, or put together any reasoning why it gets worse during that time compared to your normal day-to-day life?

What are your thoughts?

YAZ

I have seen a few comments about doctors saying, “just try Yaz” like it’s the magic  new pill.

I did just want to let you know that Women with PMDD are very sensitive to BC pills, including YAZ so just keep an eye out and don’t get upset if it doesn’t turn out to be your ‘magic’ pill.
I have read that some Women have done well with BC pills of another kind, where they didn’t take the ‘off ‘ pill, but  took the BC pill the entire time, never having a period. This seems to work for some people. Again, some Women were still sensitive and had to stop the pill altogether.

I cannot say either way, I am not willing to try the YAZ pill, I have taken BC pills before and react terribly with them so I am just not giving it a go. I do hope it will give some of you the relief we all long for.
As for others, you may talk to your doctor about no periods whatsoever, that just wasn’t for me either.

Good luck to you all and I will continue keeping everyone updated on info I come up with that seems to be working for other Women or new research.

One small step in research made:Gene may help spur PMDD…

I came across this article tonight, it is one tiny step, but at least a step…
It is from MedlinePlus, this is one of the most recent articles I have found where research has found something successful. I will keep an eye out to see what else comes from this.

Gene May Help Spur Premenstrual Depression

Finding could explain why some women are more vulnerable to the condition

HealthDay

  By: Krisha McCoy

Monday, July 23, 2007

MONDAY, July 23 (HealthDay News) — Scientists have discovered a gene variant linked to an increased risk of severe premenstrual depression.

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder, or PMDD, is a psychiatric condition that affects about 8 percent of women in their childbearing years. Women with PMDD experience bouts of major depression and/or anxiety and severe irritability during the second half of their menstrual cycle. These symptoms subside with the onset of the menstrual period.

PMDD has been thought to be related to hormonal changes over the course of the menstrual cycle.

For a new study published online June 30 in Biological Psychiatry, researchers studied 91 women with a confirmed diagnosis of PMDD over at least three months. Another 56 women who had no history of mood disorders related to the menstrual cycle served as the comparison group.

The team found four specific gene variants in the estrogen receptor alpha gene, ESR1, that were more common in the women with PMDD than in the control group.

“While these are preliminary findings that require replication in larger studies, we would argue that this may explain part of the variance among women in the susceptibility to developing this mood disorder,” the study’s senior author David R. Rubinow, Meymandi distinguished professor and chair of psychiatry at the University of North Carolina School of Medicine, said in a prepared statement.
HealthDay

Health Insurance, what a joke!

Are you kidding me???

I get a letter today stating that my PMDD may be a pre-existing condition and more research will be done to decide if it will be covered from my visits to the psychiatrist that I was referred to to work w/ with my general doc.

We wanted to make sure some of the ‘newer’ symptoms were a cause of the PMDD and not something else, etc… I had to only visit a couple of times to find out it was all caused by a hormone problem…ie…my PMDD stuff.

I wanted to send a letter to the insurance company stating…”you think? Hmmmm…let’s see… I have had my PMDD symptoms since about 15 yrs of age, I am now going to be 34 this month, yeah I would call that pre-existing since I wouldn’t even be allowed to be on my parents insurance anymore!!!” What? Should I not be able to continue getting my meds covered or my six month visits to my doc covered? I mean gosh, I only pay $600/month in insurance!

GEEZ!!!!!!!! Sorry, it just really ticked me off!

I finally have 2 docs working together with me and have my symptoms under the best control that I have ever had since PMDD isn’t ‘curable’.
Two doctors actually worked with me, ran tests, etc… rather than just upping the dosage or prescribing new meds. If any of you have been to the doc, you know sometimes this happens, “you just need more.”

Okay, enough of that…sorry…